Poop Rockets

Poop RocketsFrom User: Sarah N

Well, this poop story is fresh from the bathroom today. I pooped earlier this morning, so when I returned to the bathroom around noon, I figured that I only had to pee. I pulled down my pants and hovered over the toilet, as many woman do in public restrooms to avoid sitting on the seat.

As I began tensing my abdominal muscles to help empty out my bladder, two consecutive poop logs shot out of my a** like torpedoes. As they were firing, I screamed “Oh Sh*t!” really loud…. luckily no one else was in the rest room at the time. I managed to decreased my abdominal tension to allow the remaining logs to drop down into the toilet bowl.

When I was ready to wipe my bum, I turned around to examine the damage. One log had landed on the flat surface at the back of the toilet, with the very tip resting on the seat. The second struck the base of the metal pipe which leads up to the flushing handle.

I am ashamed to say that for a split second, I did consider leaving the turds (who wants to pick up sh*t?!); however, the idea soon gave way to my deep embarrassment if someone had walked into the same bathroom stall as I exited and of guilt for leaving it for cleaning staff to handle.

I ended up wadding up a bunch of toilet paper to scoop up the evidence and a second wad to wipe away the visible streaks; followed by one final flush down the toilet. Here’s to hoping the cleaning staff don’t take shortcuts and actually disinfectant all parts of the toilets. Anyway, I had done my part and washed my hands like a freakin’ surgeon.

I guess I can say my New Year’s resolution of increasing fiber in my diet is working!

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