Know Yourself. Know Your Poop.

  • How many times have you pooped in your lifetime?
  • How much toilet paper have you used? How many wipes?
  • Number of times you’ve had explosive diarrhea?
  • How tall would all of your poop logs be if you stacked them end-to-end?
Poop Calculator

Date of Birth:

Calculate Your Lifetime Poop Stats – In Seconds.

Haven’t you always wished you could see your lifetime statistics for anything with the click of a button? How many miles have I walked in my lifetime? How many slices of pizza have I consumed? Well, when it comes to poop there is no more wondering. At Number Two Guide we have developed a Poop Calculator to provide you with some of the most important statistics of your life. Simply enter your birthday and click ‘Calculate’ to get started.

  • Amount of times you clogged the toilet?
  • Number of days you spent pooping?

Customer Reviews

“I really don’t understand the use of this new knowledge, but I am glad I did it.” - Craig S.

“The results made me laugh so much I accidentally pooped my pants, better recalculate.” – Christine H.

“Totally useless, but amazing” – Clint G.

“Surprisingly accurate. I actually have sharted 4 times in my life and I specifically remember every horrible moment of each one. They were awful, glad to see this happens at about the same rate for everyone.” – Catherine R.

Question 2 of 6
While I poop I often...

Question 3 of 6
When I poop, typically...

Question 4 of 6
Do you wipe sitting down or standing up?

Question 5 of 6
When I finish pooping...

Question 6 of 6
Are you a man or a woman?